Reports from workshop participants
I had seen the Orders of Love leaflet at Dunton Psychotherapy Centre and thought that this year I would really like to go on one of Barbara Morgan’s weekend workshops. When I finally plucked up courage to ask Barbara about the summer workshop she told me the course was already fully booked. I took a leaflet home to check the dates of the Autumn course and only then did I realise what I had missed. The date of the summer workshop fell on the 2nd anniversary of my mothers death. How could I have been so complacent and disorganised not to have realised and booked in time. I was so angry with myself, how could I have missed such a significant date. I’d blown it. The following week when I saw Barbara she said, “You’re not going to believe this but I’ve just had a last minute cancellation, it’s never happened before. I have one place available for the summer workshop!” I jumped at the opportunity, I felt like Cinderella I was off to the ball. Then reality hit and I thought Oh my God I’m going to be shut in a room full of people I don’t know and what if I can’t do the work. What on earth have I done. My anxiety began to rise.
Fate had stepped into make amends for my lack of commitment. Or probably more likely my mother had pulled a few strings and said, “For heavens sakes girl pull yourself together and get on that course”. Either way Friday evening arrived along with my sister and her two dogs to look after my children. The course was held at the Healthy Living Centre, Letchworth the setting was tranquil with the low evening sunshine glowing through the pine trees as I arrived. I took my place within the circle of other participants all of whom looked calm and relaxed. I felt too hot, anxious and ready to run. We each briefly introduced ourselves and I began to realise my fears were actually shared by many in the room.
Barbara gave a brief introduction about Bert Hellinger and described the Order of Love constellation work, which he has developed over many years. She explained how representatives are chosen to represent both present and past family members, building layers of generations within a family group. She told us that whilst it was helpful to have some knowledge of the family history it was not essential for the work to take place. As the principles of ‘Order of Love’ also works well for organisational constellations, Barbara asked if any of us had a business related issue we were willing to share which could be used to illustrate the work. Two members of the group had difficult career decisions to make. So each assembled representatives and gradually Barbara manoeuvred those taking part to bring balance to the constellation and a clear direction was shown in both examples. There was still enough time that evening for one brave individual to put themselves forward to begin the first of our groups family constellations.
Over the next two days we each had an opportunity to sit with Barbara, one by one baring a little of his or her soul. We each chose our initial family representatives and gradually sat back to watch a moving picture unfold. Being asked to take part in a constellation was the most extraordinary experience, there truly was no need for any of us to have worried about not being able to do the work. All we had to do was provide a ‘voice’ and give an honest description of what we were experiencing. This encompassed both physical and emotional feelings. One might experience a tingling sensation down one side of the body or a pain in the neck or a pleasurable warmth, all for no apparent reason. Emotions ranged from subliminal peace to overwhelming sadness to fits of giggles. I felt it was as though we were there just to offer ourselves up as empty vessels for the purpose of another soul to work through us. Barbara intuitively guided and repositioned the ‘family members’ to bring a more balanced order to the ailing sometimes dysfunctional family system. Short phrases were used to help bring systemic healing, hopefully leading to a more harmonious order; or sometimes just to reach a level of acceptance where one hoped that in time those souls would gradually settle more peacefully. Each constellation evolved differently, each was moving in it’s own way and each most private and precious. It wasn’t spooky or uncomfortable and after each constellation we were ourselves again.
As the weekend progressed one felt both supported and supportive of those present. An extraordinary invisible but powerful bond had formed between a group of twelve individuals, all sensitively held and guided by Barbara. I felt deeply moved and privileged to be part of the Orders of Love Summer Workshop 2002. A unique and truly amazing experience.